I have been pretty busy at work lately with my new position and trying to MAKE the transition!!! Here is my Monday Mail.
I think my wife would want me to get one of these! I may also add that I am not admitting that I have a problem.
Showing posts with label Monday Mail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Monday Mail. Show all posts
April 16, 2008
April 7, 2008
Monday Mail
Master Card Wedding!!
This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.
He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of every one's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man! The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, 'F---you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, 'F--- you! 'Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.
'He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.
His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells!
Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends:
$32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion:
$3,000.
Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui :
$8,500.
The look on every one's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man:
Priceless.
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD
A MasterCard Wedding
'Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches, it's more like a jar of Jalapenos--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow......'
You got to love this guy...
This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.
He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of every one's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man! The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, 'F---you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, 'F--- you! 'Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.
'He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.
His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells!
Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends:
$32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion:
$3,000.
Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui :
$8,500.
The look on every one's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man:
Priceless.
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD
A MasterCard Wedding
'Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches, it's more like a jar of Jalapenos--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow......'
March 31, 2008
March 24, 2008
March 17, 2008
March 10, 2008
Monday Mail
Here are the best emails that I received this week from work. I have posted two today. One is for the Women and one is for Men. I just didn't want one or the other to feel left out. These are exactly how I received them. ENJOY!
FOR THE WOMEN:
Not sure if this is true??
''THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE!"Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said: "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever-after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theatre, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time. The End .
FOR THE MEN:
WHY MEN HAVE BETTER FRIENDS
Friendship between Women:A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at her girlfriend's house.The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.
Friendship between Men:A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
Have a good Monday!
FOR THE WOMEN:
Not sure if this is true??
''THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE!"Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said: "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever-after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theatre, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time. The End .
FOR THE MEN:
WHY MEN HAVE BETTER FRIENDS
Friendship between Women:A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at her girlfriend's house.The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.
Friendship between Men:A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
Have a good Monday!
March 3, 2008
Monday Mail
I could not stop laughing when I listened to this. I even chuckle when I think about it...
This is my Monday Mail - Check it out!
This is my Monday Mail - Check it out!
February 25, 2008
Monday Mail
I get several Emails every week here at work and I decided to do something with them. I am starting a weekly series on "The Wickedy Wack" called MONDAY MAIL! I will take the funniest email from the previous week and post it on Monday. I warn you that some will be better then others because I get some pretty lame ones. I will also take out the distasteful ones that come to me (whether I like it or not). This one is pretty good, its called "I am my own Grandpa!" You may have to watch it twice to get it, I know I did.
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